As a caregiver, how often do you hear someone say, "If there's anything I can do to help..."? And how often do you instantly dismiss such offers? How often do you not even hear them? One of the most important aspects of successful caregiving is understanding that great caregivers know how to ask for help.
The most important rule in asking for help is to be specific. When someone asks if there's anything that they can do, and you respond "Yes, there is," what has actually been agreed to? Nothing...and that's exactly what will happen! On the other hand, when someone asks if there's anything that they can do, and the caregiver responds, "Yes, and thank you for offering. I have an appointment this Thursday at 2:00, and it would really be wonderful if you could come by the house and stay with John for about two hours. Does that work for you?", is there any doubt about how this inquiring friend can be helpful?
ACTION STEP
Make a list of the tasks that friends can help you with. These tasks may or may not be specifically related to your caregiving responsibilities. For instance, if the best help someone can provide to you is to pick up a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk at the supermarket because you can't get out of the house easily, then that goes onto your list. Keep the list handy, and when a friend or neighbor asks if they can be helpful, consult your list and assign them one of the tasks that you've written down.
Start asking for help in very specific terms. In caregiving, as in life, nobody makes it alone.
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